Too many times we focus on the bad and never stop to remember the good.
For myself, they are days where everything is going right and I would consider as a good day and then something happens... It could be a client that calls in who is upset or a email that throws a wrench into day. Typically (and depending on how convoluted the issue it) when I walk away from the day I deem it as a bad day. All because I decided to focus on the bad instead of walking away remembering the thirty good things that happened that day.
The book which I mention in my previous post has a saying: "Neurons that fire together, wire together". This leads to a bias thought process. Unfortunately my friends this is my flaw (one of many). This is what I'm trying to improve.
I try to reflect on the good characteristics I have and I keep coming back to doubt.
For example, I think one of my good characteristics is that I'm hard working, but then I think, I'm really not like that all the time.
This is the battle I must face. I am my own worst enemy. From what I'm told this all part of being human. We all slip up.
I then think of my other characteristics, like resiliency. I know for sure this is a characteristic I am well equipped with. Even if this characteristic isn't present and at the forefront all the time, I know it will kick in when I need it to the most.
As I reflect on the easier-to-grasp characteristics I let the feelings of worth flood my senses. I am trying to dwell on the good in myself instead of the bad.
I, like most people, want the world to be a better place. The world is a big place so how can I even begin to do this.
"We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves"
- Dalai Lama XIV
The whole reason why I started this blog was help make sense of my mentally and possibly help others along the way. I started on this path of "righting" my mind last January. I want to be a happier person coexisting in a happier world.
I found this book at my local library call Just One Thing: Developing a Buddha Brain One Simple Practice at a Time by Rick Hanson,Ph.D. Dr. Rick Hanson has other books but this was one that caught my attention for the simplicity around it. The book doesn't direct you to sit and mediate everyday for 20 minutes, at least not yet up to the point I've read, but it gives 52 different practices to "re-train" your brain so that you may develop a buddha brain mentality [inner peace]. 52 practices for the 52 weeks in the year. This book may be one I never am finished reading.
I believe by accepting an improved mentality I will be able to sit with a quiet mind and meditate. However it is trying to quiet the mind I have difficulty with. This is why I have started on my path for inner peace!
Today I reflected on a chapter about seeing the good in myself. As I go through the next few days I will reflect on my good qualities and let the feeling(s) surround me. I will also step outside of myself and try to see what good qualities other people I care about perceive of me. My hope is to grow a deeper love for myself and well being. I want to enhance my feelings of confidence, worth, happiness, & peace.
The author of this book relates each person to a mosaic; we all have tiles that are beautiful and some parts that need some work. It's by seeing the good in myself that I will achieve the feeling that my life is in fact a beautiful mosaic. There cannot be good without the bad.
As many of you may know there was an extreme tragedy that occurred in our neighboring country the United States of America.
See Maclean's Magazine for all the media coverage regarding the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting.
I cannot begin to express my surprise, my devastation, and my dismay that this event occurred. President Barack Obama stated that there have been too many shootings during his time as president. When I think back over the last few months I am haunting by the Dark Knight Rises shooting in Aurora Colorado, and the shooting that took place at a mall in Portland; Oregon. Now this...
I can only imagine how daunting of a task this nation's leader is having to faced or has been facing since these tragic events occurred. Not to mention the outstanding fear he may carry for his own two daughters in a world such as the one we all currently reside.
On Friday, December 14, 2012, my better half picked me up from work. When I hopped in the car, excited to start our weekend, I was met with his somber face. I had no idea that the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting had taken place earlier that morning.
He explained all what had happened to me. Xavier had just finished watching President Obama statement on the shooting and noted how upsetting it was to see a man of his stature pause to gain his composure.
I was in shock to hear that this could happen to mere children!
While driving home Xavier said, "What do you do for people in situations like that? When you do not pray or believe in a one God, what can you possibly do for such people?"
"Keep them in your thoughts," I replied, "And send them all well wishes. We are all harvesters of energy."
From time to time, I fail to remember that there a tragedies going on all over the world all the time. It takes one drastic moment such as the one the town of Newton, Connecticut are facing now for the world to remember that.
I know we can call it a great injustice to humanity but realistically what can we do?
What can we really do? We cannot physically stop the shooters from donning their combat gear and arming themselves. We cannot physically shield every single victim from the gunshots fired.
Again, what can we do?
All we can do is be part of the bigger scheme of things.
There is quote that is apparently by Mahatma Ghandi: "Be the change you wish to see in the world."
From my understanding the quotation actually went much more like this:
"If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him... We need not wait to see what others do"
It is a sad but inevitable fact; sometime bad things do happen to good people. I truly believe that Ghandi's words are mean to ignite change and not be translated literally. His words do not mean that once you are good only good things will happen. The meaning is that we, as citizens of this Earth and the Universe, should lead by example, only then will people aspire to work together.
From what I have read today on the follow up articles for the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, the funerals for the children have begun today and that the town has already started taking down their Christmas decorations. Over this holiday season, my heart and my thoughts go out to all those who have lost their loved ones.
The year 2012 is almost finished. I think about how quickly this year has gone
by and all that has happened. I've been
engaged for nearly a year now! Holy
crap! January 12th, 2013 will be the one year mark
since Xavier got down on one knee and popped the question. I thought I would share with the
world the events of that night. The night he proposed we were
staying in a condo onKimberley Alpine Resort. The 2011/12 winter season
was my first full season on a snowboard.
Xavier wanted to take advantage of my enjoyment for snowboarding so we
made plans that would get the most out of it as we could.
My view atop Kimberley Alpine Resort
We had made a plan to travel to
Fernie, B.C. to enjoy a few days of snowboarding there, then we would venture to
Kimberley for a few days and end
our trip in Radium Hot Springs B.C..
When we arrived at our accommodations on Kimberley Alpine Resort we
realized we didn't want to go any further as the view from the condo we rented
was well.. KICK ASS! We were able to
extend our stay at Kimberley and
cancelled our reservations at Radium Hot Springs.
We arrived at the restaurant as
it opened around 5:30-6:00 pm. Turns out this restaurant was rich with
history; we’re talking over 350 years of history. The restaurant was constructed of materials
which originally made up a building located in the city of Munich
in Bavaria Germany. The building was
used to shelter servants of an apple orchard that was owned by a nearby
castle. After this era the farmhouse was
occupied by three different families and finally, in 1987 the building was
taken apart while still in Germany.
A couple years later the materials were
packed into two containers and shipped to Canada.
With these materials they constructed
the Old Bauernhaus restaurant and to this day it still stands. This story alone was
awe-inspiring then we tried the Schnitzel and let me tell you that topped the
cake! To this day I can tell Xavier
starts to salivates at the thought of schnitzel. After this enjoyable meal we
returned “home”. We were both in the
kitchen preparing a couple of drinks. I
turned around and low and behold Xavier is down on one knee. To tell you the truth, I didn't know what or how it was happening and I don’t even remember what he said except,
“Will you marry me?” I was completely
dumbfounded.. Here he was, the man I
love, on one knee, holding a beautiful ring in a wooden box, and looking at me
with his brown eyes expectantly. The
first thing I could manage to say was, “Are you serious??” He replied with a smile, “Yes I
am.” I fumbled with my words and responded,
“You’re kidding me? Do my parents
know? Did you ask them?” To which he replied, “No, I’m not
kidding. Yes they know and of course I asked!” All the while he is on one knee
on the kitchen floor and my hands were holding my face. I felt hot and I knew my face was emanating a
vicious red! I still could not believe my eyes
and ears, “You are joking!” “No, I’m really not,” He replied
while still looking up at me, “… now, what is your answer?” At that very moment I realized
that I knew what my thoughts were and what my answer was but I still had not
thought to express them to him, “Yes!!” I saw a slight expression of relief
as he knew he could finally get up off the floor. That is the story of how my
better half proposed to me. Thinking
back on that evening, I catch myself smiling.
The ring!
Now it is the time to start
planning the wedding and I know this can be a bit of work. Thankfully we are starting early and we have
time on our side.
I constantly think about that
restaurant we went to that night and the steadfastness it symbolizes. I can only hope [and know] that the marriage
Xavier and I will have will be one with a solid foundation much similar to the
staying power of the Old Bauernhaus.
There may be times where we will have to reconstruct and repair our life
together but it will be with a ready heart and steadfast love. That is all I have time for today. Peace & Love, my friends.