Tuesday, October 28, 2014

I Know Some Beautiful Souls

It is done, I did it!! I really did it.  [This is a follow up to my last post.] 
My performance review went great and I have given my employer notice that I will be attending school in Fall 2015!  Leading up to the performance review I was getting advice from both my husband and friends.  Needless to say, they were all right.

It has been some time since I last updated the blog so let me give you a rundown of where my life is now. 

As I have indicated in past posts my better half and I got engaged in January of 2012. Well, we were married on August 16, 2014.  They day went beautifully and felt all too short for all the planning we did.  I am extremely happy with how everything unfolded.  
Quite a few of our friends and family came out to set up the day before and the day of.  Let me tell you: there has never been a moment in my life where I felt as loved as I did on both the day-of and the day before.  All the outreach and assistance we received from all our loved ones truly spoke volumes and caused me to reflect a great deal on the people we have in our lives.  

I will feel forever blessed for everyone that volunteered to be involved for actually being there.   I am also blessed that the people we know are the people that they are.  Such strong, kind, and caring souls; I don't think I can every fully express the extent of the love Xavier and I felt that day. 

Now that we are married, of course, the question we get asked on a regular basis is: "When are you going to have children?"  [Yes, I say regular basis - even though we have only been married for just over two months now]
Whoa! Whoa! WAIT!  It feels like we literally just paid for the wedding and now we gotta be tackling heavy questions like that?!  
Don't get me wrong, we want kids... eventually!  Right now at this point in my life I still feel like a kid myself.  We still want to get some traveling done before we have to worry about baby passports and diaper bags.  And I want to return to school to get me some post-secondary education.  Hence, part of the reason why I am pursuing the schooling now.  

I am at a point in my life now where I need to go back to school or else I feel like I'll miss my chance.  Like I said, we want kids eventually.  Xavier is also done most-to-all of his schooling to become a journeyman plumber so we are at a comfortable stage in our lives where I can go back to school full-time without having to worry about when he may need to return to school himself.  
I am looking to obtain a diploma under the Digital Media and I.T. program which one of our local schools offer in the city here.  My goal is to become either a web designer or even develop apps for mobile devices.  Heck, I could even design video games!  
One of the courses under this program teaches about Trans-media and how to create a story which can be translated over different forms of media.   That to me, sounds extremely interesting!! Just think of how awesome it would be to create a world with a set of characters that could start out as a video game, then be made into comics and maybe even web-episodes.  
Anyways, I digress from the point I was originally trying to make.

Leading up to the performance review yesterday, I received wonderful advice about this big life move I am putting into action. 
My husband told me, "You have always been concerned about your job and how your actions will affect your employer.  You will be going to school for you and your dreams, for once.  How your employer handles you leaving or how they choose to cover your position is not your worry.  You cannot let them hold you back." 

One of my good friends said to me, "No amount of stress or worry will make it any easier for you so remind yourself tonight: 'This phase of my life has treated me well, I have been the best contribution I can be and now my need here is done. I am needed elsewhere; onto the next project where I can contribute and continue self growth.'"  Isn't that beautiful?? (she's so smart)

So my friends, that was my mantra going into the performance review: 

"This phase of my life has treated me well."

Making a career in digital media is my dream and knowing this I offered up my intentions to the universe.  

And wouldn't you know it but my boss reiterated the exact same things to me that were offered to me as advice.
Initially his face dropped but as he puts it "I am a strong advocate for education".  
He went on to tell me how he is very excited about my future and how happy he is to hear that I am following a dream.  He even acknowledged that I am the type of person to put work before myself and how ecstatic he is that I am finally doing something for myself. 
The things my boss said to me were exactly what I was telling myself and what other people were offering up as advice.  All brought forth with intention.

I couldn't believe how painless it was.  However on the other hand, no matter the amount of self-assuring I did and no matter the amount of listening to what people had to say, I still could not shake how awful it felt to give my employer notice that I was leaving. 
I have come to depend on my role at the office as much as the office has come to depend on me to always be present, on-time, and reliable.  The family which owns my company has indicated more than once about how much like-family I am.  Seeing my boss' face as I broke the news was hard.  Even after giving my notice and since letting the rest of the office know, seeing the faces of some of my co-workers has been heart-wrenching.. and I'm not leaving for another year yet!  It is hard to tell someone that what they have provided you is not what you want anymore, and that you dream of other paths. 

Now that my work is aware of my future plans, I cannot explain how relieved and invigorated I feel.  I have expressed my intentions vocally to people in my life.  I have set my mind and my soul to start making more for myself which is more than half the battle when you want to achieve something.  As I did before the performance review, I do so now:  

"Universe, I'll do great in my part-time studies and will be enrolled as a full-time student in September 2015."

I feel such confidence about the year to come.  I would not be as full of intention as I am now without knowing the people I do and loving them to the lengths that I do.  Love and intention is the purpose and drive of life.  With love in your heart - be it love from or for others, even self-love - intention is entirely possible.  Intention creates and attracts. 

One love!

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